{"id":5111,"date":"2022-10-03T10:09:49","date_gmt":"2022-10-03T14:09:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.olneycounseling.com\/?p=5111"},"modified":"2022-10-03T10:16:53","modified_gmt":"2022-10-03T14:16:53","slug":"how-to-set-boundaries-with-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/olneycounseling.com\/how-to-set-boundaries-with-family\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Set Boundaries with Family"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"how<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

With the holiday time upon us, we are pulled in several directions, from holiday parties, to baking, to having friends and family over, all the while juggling our jobs, kids, and relationships.\u00a0 So why are the holidays such a stressful time?\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Many of us over commit, overindulge, and over EVERYTHING to make sure that those around us are happy and healthy.\u00a0 The problem with this approach is that when we do not set limits, we begin to feel overwhelmed, resentful and at times angry.\u00a0 Setting limits and boundaries is an effective way to manage our emotions and to set realistic expectations for all.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

Here’s how to set boundaries with family<\/a> during the holiday season.<\/span><\/p>\n

What are boundaries?\u00a0 Boundaries are invisible lines that we place around ourselves that communicate to ourselves and others what is Ok with us and what is not OK with us. \u00a0 Effective boundaries are ever evolving and changing depending on the situation with the core limit being what is appropriate for me and what is not.\u00a0 <\/span>Boundaries build TRUST<\/b>.\u00a0 Nonexistent, lose or rigid boundaries decrease trust.\u00a0 Boundaries can come in many forms, including physical, mental, emotional, financial, moral, sexual, and spiritual.\u00a0 Our parents have taught us about boundaries whether they realized it or not.\u00a0 For example, if a teenager sees his mother saying \u201cyes\u201d to several commitments despite feeling overwhelmed, she may inadvertently teach the teenager that saying \u201cno\u201d can be seen as rude, unkind, or not caring of others.\u00a0 On the other hand, another mother who \u201calways says no\u201d to events may be teaching her children that rigid, inflexible boundaries are a better way to set limits.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I think that Brene\u2019 Brown<\/a> explains boundaries in a clear and easy to understand how to evaluate a situation and when to apply limits and boundaries\u2026..she calls this <\/span>BRAVING<\/span>.\u00a0 <\/span>BRAVING<\/span> is described as:<\/span><\/p>\n

B<\/b> Boundaries-without boundaries there is no trust; must have appropriate limits<\/span><\/p>\n

R<\/b> Reliability-I can only trust you if you <\/span>consistently<\/span><\/i> do what you say<\/span><\/p>\n

A<\/b> Accountability- I can only trust you when you 1) own it 2) apologize for it 3) make amends<\/span><\/p>\n

V<\/b> Vault-I will keep what you say in confidence; I will not share other people\u2019s stories<\/span><\/p>\n

I<\/b> Integrity- Choose 1) courage over comfort 2) what is right over what is fun, fast, & easy 3) practicing values not just professing values<\/span><\/p>\n

N<\/b> Non-judgement- Must be reciprocal and non-judgement towards other and self; cannot judge self for something and not judge others for the same<\/span><\/p>\n

G<\/b> Generosity-Assume the most generous words, intentions & behaviors and check in with me<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s important to learn how to set boundaries with your family during the holidays. So, before you go into the holiday season, ask yourself if saying \u201cyes\u201d to the situation leads to <\/span>BRAVING<\/span> or breaking.\u00a0 Your friends and family will thank you for changing your approach and increasing their trust in what is OK with you and what is not OK with you.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

With the holiday time upon us, we are pulled in several directions, from holiday parties, to baking, to having friends and family over, all the while juggling our jobs, kids, and relationships.\u00a0 So why are the holidays such a stressful time?\u00a0\u00a0 Many of us over commit, overindulge, and over EVERYTHING to make sure that those […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":5115,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[184],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5111","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-therapy"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Set Boundaries with Family - OCC<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How to Set Boundaries with Family - No matter what the cause, Olney Counseling Center is here to help. 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